Now, for some more experienced writers here, this should be something obvious, but for me, who is primarily a poet, writing fiction is a completely different world, so bear with me.  Suddenly, I realized that I had been approaching this whole thing wrong and should have written in in the third person, past tense.  Duh.  So, I went back to the beginning and cleaned it all up, converting all the text I had written in this way.  It allowed me to purge a lot of crap, get more into the story in a way I felt I wasn’t before, and widened the scope a little to help make this thing a little more interesting.  See?  What my seem obvious to some was something new for me.  Such is the way of the novice....

My first novel, “November Rust” was written in the first person....much like all of my poetry had been, so it just came natural for me to do this.  It also allowed me to spout off in the mind of the character telling the story, forcing it to be seen through the eyes of the narrator and therefore not having to care too much about what the other characters were thinking, feeling, etc.  Switching to Third Person was a new approach for me.  I had literally never done this before so naturally I would have to learn as I went.  I really enjoy it too.  Opens the doors to infinite possibilities.  

The story being told here is also something new for me (in a way).  More “psychological” than “action” so to speak.  (There are no car chases, explosions or anything).  I hope to get the point across through the interaction between the characters and through the worlds they move around in and, most importantly, the “inner” worlds they move around in.  Not that easy, really.  There is a definite risk of boring the shit out of the reader with this approach, so I’ve been working hard at making these characters seem as real as possible with the hopes of a reader being able to relate to them in some kind of personal way.  

I still have a lot of work to do but so far I am pleased with the results, even in its current rudimentary form.  The question I have for all the writers out there, with the hopes of beginning a discussion:   

What is your approach to writing fiction?  What do you hope to achieve and how do you go about trying to bring your ideas to life?  

Looking forward to hearing from some of you.  

In the meantime, enjoy the weekend, wherever you may be.  

Onward.... 

Been hard at work on the new novel over the past six weeks or so.  Everything is coming along very well.  It is only a first draft and it certainly needs a hell of a lot of work yet but I’ve been simply trying to get the story down.  I’ll worry about all the corrections and rewrites later.  That’s when the real work begins.  It’s been fun and I’ve really been enjoying myself immensely on this project.  The reason being, mainly, that this has all been a new approach for me.  With my previous novel, I struggled for years to get that down but the approach was much different.  With that book, “November Rust”, I felt I was too much “inside” the book, so to speak.  The mental approach was much different.  Too involved.  Then one of the most simplest and logical ideas hit me and that was to “get out of my own way”; tell a story, step out of it, strip away all the experimentation, all the literary tricks and gimmicks, all the post-modern devices and just get back to basics.  Strip it all the way down to a simple, straightforward narrative, get out of the way and allow the story to emerge, let the characters be who they are, and most importantly, write simple, direct, declarative sentences.  I’ve been having a ball with it because of it.  This may sound normal and logical to some but for me, one who was weened on mostly surrealistic, experimental, more “literary” novels---and never had taken any formal writing classes---this was something of an epiphany for me.  Go figure.  

I thought of Ernest Hemingway.  I’ve always been a huge fan of his.  I haven’t read all his books but this approach made me think of his books and how simple and direct they were.  I began to read some of the books I haven’t read just to get an idea on his approach and how he accomplished what he did.  It’s been a valuable education for me.  Also, having recently read Italian author Nicolo Amannitti and his amazing novel, “I’ll Steal You Away”, which also had this very “Hemingway-esque” approach of stripping things down, this also had a major influence on the approach of this new project.  It also occurred to me that I haven’t been reading any novels as of late but mainly history books, travel narratives, non-fiction, etc.  I returned to the novel, mainly to see the different approaches their respective authors took to write them.  Again, a most valuable education.  

So while my new book may not be as well written and/or crafted as Hemingway or any of the other authors I’ve been reading/studying as of late, the simple, stripped down, straightforward approach of their books has been a valuable resource for me while trying to write this one.  For those few who have read “November Rust”, this new book will be something of a 180 degree turn.  It is very different.  Simple, direct, stripped of all the wordplay and literary experimentation---down to bare bones storytelling; and what an immense joy it has been for me over the past six weeks.  

Naturally, all writers have their doubts and lord knows I have many.  Sometimes I’m not sure about any of it but I soldier on anyway.  It’s the only way to learn and the only way to grow.  There are plenty of ideas in the pipeline right now and I feel that I have to get myself reorganized in order not to make a mess of things.  A big heartfelt thanks goes out to all of you who’ve read the last book, gave me feedback, criticisms, etc.  It always helps.  After all, I’m truly a novice at all this and every little bit helps.  Thank you.  

Other things happening:  been working with Linda La Porte on her follow up CD.  Things coming along very very well.  Spent some time in the studio the past couple of weeks with her.  Everything sounds fantastic so far and we both cannot wait for it to be finished and available.  I contribute bass mainly on this CD, with a little guitar and even Doumbek on one track.  All very exciting.  

So now I look forward to the weather getting warmer and also looking forward to my next trip out of New York City which may come as early as June.  May be staying stateside this time, maybe heading out west to New Mexico.  There’s a lot of things I want to see there and am looking forward to it.  But nothing is set in stone yet.  

Anyway, again, thanks to all who’ve read me, supported me, gave me feedback and encouragement.  It means a lot.  Hope you all have a great weekend.  

Onward & upward, as always.....

Still, one should not think they are now “perfect” because someone likes what you do.  For years after completing that novel, I’ve been struggling to begin the next one.  But nothing was coming.  Just some vague ideas and a vague notion as to what I wanted to say with it.  In the interim, I wrote articles, essays, book reviews, anything just to keep me writing and I hoped that one day the spark would ignite and I could get rolling again.  I’m still learning.  I read a lot and with each reading it seems I am also “studying” the craft of writing as well.  Not only do I enjoy the books I read for their content but I also look at how a writer approaches what they did.  What techniques do they use?  Why this and not that?  Why first person instead of third?  and vice versa.  For one that has never taken a creative writing class or been formally trained in any way shape or form, this is the next best way of learning the art of writing.  Paying attention to what you are reading.  

So finally, about 7 years after completing my first novel, I finally got the spark to begin the next one.  But something happened to me this afternoon which I didn’t see coming.  Suddenly it hit me that I was approaching this all wrong.  I’ve been too busy looking at this from one perspective when I should have been looking at it from another.  I was basically stifling my imagination by trying too hard.  Yes.  Trying too hard.  Also...I realized that I was putting myself way too much into the writing.  Now those who’ve taken classes and all will probably already know what I just learned today, and that is, let the story BE.  Get the hell out of the way and tell the story!  Since everything I’ve written has always been from a first person perspective, how could I NOT put myself too much into it.  So I thought, maybe this time around, I’ll try 3rd person perspective.  Seems like a good idea to allow the story to breathe a little, getting inside the heads of the other characters in the story, etc etc.  So I sat back, thought about how could I convert what I began from this new perspective and I realized I could do it and will do it.  Also, just by making this little tweak, I came up with 7 more ideas --- albeit rudimentary --- for novels which I immediately wrote down on scraps of paper.  A very exciting prospect for me.  

As I said, I am just a beginner.  I am still learning and always welcome the feedback and opinion of others (even though the whole idea of “networking” is more in word than in deed, it seems).  Publication doesn’t mean you “made it”.  If that’s the case, I’ve “made it” a long time ago.  Publication is great...but one can never stop learning, growing, expanding.  We all have our own personal goals to attain, no matter what it is we decide to do in life.  It’s important to keep the wheels greased, keep the head open and look at things differently from time to time.  You just never know what it could do for your creative juices.  

Onward and upward....

For those who do decide to go, be forewarned: To get into the Jewish Museum is like going through airport security...if not worse.  The hassle you have to go through is immense: emptying your pockets, going through metal detectors, etc.  And the “guards” (I’ll use that term very loosely) are the rudest, nastiest people you’d ever want to come across.  Sometimes a “uniform” will do that to people.  It was bad enough that I promise you I will never go to this museum again to see anything....that is, unless they reel in their fucking cowboys a little.  Just not worth the aggravation to be treated like a criminal before entering an art museum.  It was bad enough that I almost walked out right then and there.  Those who run this museum should take note of how these idiots are treating their patrons.  If they don’t care, I personally, will boycott the place from now on.   

“The Art Show” at the Park Avenue Armory was another great show.  I haven’t missed this annual benefit for the Henry Street Settlement for the past 10 years now and each year never disappoints.  As you browse the represented galleries booths you will find many surprises and treasures:  Francis Picabia, Pablo Picasso, Pissaro, Matise, as well as lesser known artists from the Abstract Expressionist era along side many contemporary artists.  For lovers of art, this is a show not to be missed.  Unfortunately, today was the last day but in November, they return with their “Art 20” show.  Be sure to check that out.  You won’t be disappointed.  

Oh, sure, as we age and get more “adult” things become more complicated, more serious, more real, so to speak.  Responsibilities change: some get married, start families, others concentrate on their careers, others are still seeking their place in life, whatever the case may be, a lot of years pass between the present and your stint in high school, especially when you are someone my age. 

This summer I will be 44 years old.  I’m not one to really think about age but sometimes you do and I think it’s only natural.  I sometimes think, and am completely amazed, at the fact that at 44 years old, I still have to deal with people who never seemed to get out of that high school mentality.  You know what I am talking about:  you were either part of one group or another:  a freak, nerd, spazz, etc or you were one of those kids who just got through fairly invisible, or you were part of the “Popular” kids, the “cool” kids.  Well, not for nothing, but what does all this matter now to someone who is 44 years old?  It doesn’t.  At least not to me.  Nearly 30 years have passed since those days.  Who gives a shit?  Yes, it’s “fun”, it’s “nostalgia” but hardly anything you would want to base your current existence on.  

So here I am, this nearly 44 year old man dealing with those who still want to define others the way they want to.  Again, probably natural.  But what isn’t natural is the manner in which they approach it: the high school definitions.  Try to imagine one 40-something year old acting like that 15 year old in the classroom, trying hard to make others feel “left out” and therefore gaining popularity points with those around him.  I call this person a sad, pathetic asshole who never grew up.  And some of these people are parents today too.  Another frightening prospect for the future of this culture.  What the hell happened?  Reminds me of the character in the film “Napoleon Dynamite” who sat around pining away for his high school football days, going so far as to purchase a “time machine” over the internet in a vain attempt to return to those days.  It’s funny.  It’s comedy but sadly also reality for so many American adults.  

These type of folks tend to be the ones who want to define others all the time.  Who that person may actually be is of no consequence to them.  It’s up to them to define them and that’s who they are going to be.  

But not only these cretins do this.  You will find that even people close to you often do this as well.  They have in their minds who you are supposed to be rather than actually seeing you for who you really are.  I think this is done because you are really of no real consequence to them, you are merely a “role” in the movie of their life, one that they are writing and directing themselves.  You are given a role and you are to play it, and do not dare to think to deviate from the script.  There’s no room for improvisation here.  Do your job and shut up.  What you have to say does not matter.  

Well, sorry to say folks, that life just doesn’t work that way.  We all show others who we are by what we do and how we treat them.  You can be there for someone through thick and thin, be supportive of them through all their tough times, show true friendship by accepting who they are, warts and all since one chooses to focus on what makes them wonderful rather than the little quirks that drive us crazy.  Others choose to focus on the quirks and dismiss the rest.  Your role has been written and these aspects of your personality is not part of the script, therefore you are flawed and must be dealt with accordingly.  Well, I have no more time for these petty fascists.  Getting too old for this, you know?  

There are many people in my life who I simply adore.  I love them more than I could possibly explain to them.  I adore them because of who they are, over all.  Do their idiosyncrasies drive me crazy sometimes?  Sure.  But that’s a part of who they are and what makes them wonderful far outweighs what gets under my skin.  We are all individuals and no one on this earth is “perfect”.  And what is “Perfect” anyway, other than something that adheres 100 percent to how we individually define “perfect”?  So here’s my message to those who decide to choose the negatives over the positives:  deal with it.  If those things you perceives as “negatives” far outweighs those things that make you a friend to begin with then I have to say goodbye.  Why be friends with me if all I am to you is a constant source of disappointment and irritation?  I am not going to be how you define me, sorry.  I am who I am.  And if I am not me, then who am I supposed to be?  What you want me to be?  I grow weary of people getting angry with me at every turn because I don’t do what they want me to do 100 percent of the time.  Life just doesn’t work that way.  I also find it shameful and sad that at my age I still have to deal with this but sadly it’s true.  If my existence is such a bane to yours and I am nothing but a constant source of irritation to you then let’s go our separate ways.  Makes sense, right?  

All this makes me think of a friend of mine who I had known for over 20 years.  We always got along for the most part but naturally there were sources of disagreement on things.  Again, normal.  Natural.  He got mad at me over something I found very trivial in the scheme of things.  Maybe to him, it wasn’t so trivial.  Fair enough.  All I know is that we never reconciled and I will most likely never see or speak to him again.  It was never discussed, never worked out, I was just met with the “silent treatment” for over two years.  That’s a lot of energy to exert, I think, but what it told me is that what I thought was a friendship wasn’t exactly a friendship at all.  It apparently was based on how I was to be defined by him.  I didn’t behave in accordance to how he wanted me to behave.  Result: silence.  Whatever.  It doesn’t matter to me if our friendship was so fragile that one single thing was able to destroy it so quickly and so easily.  Such is life....

I think we’d all be better off if we allowed one to just be themselves and stop trying to make them into who we want them to be.  After all, we just about make up everything in this life anyway, so what’s the difference?  We just all agree to go along with the things we make up.  But that’s a whole other issue, isn’t it?  So let’s try to be a little patient with one another, look to what makes someone good.  If the good outweighs the bad then cut the person some slack.  This, of course, does not apply if one is a complete prick with absolutely no redeeming values whatsoever, but even they have people who think they are good.  So what’s the answer?  How are we to define all this?  Just like everything else.  We simply make it all up and hope for the best.  But if my quirks and idiosyncrasies are too much for you, then why do you bother trying to be my friend?  Why do you try?  Why do you stick around and get angry at me?  Maybe you love the drama it brings to your life, I don’t know.  But do me a favor:  Keep the drama to yourself.  We all have our own to deal with.